Well - hello, so nice of you to pop in and pay a visit.  What's interesting is that so many people are very interested in visiting a palace - however as soon as they realize that it's a Palace of Peril they get a little bit nervous and want to leave.

I usually take steps to make sure that's not always going to be as easy as they had hoped.

As my old dad used to say - 'Son, there's no point of having perils all ready if there is no one available to place into peril.'  He was obviously quite, quite mad - some might say that he was to sanity what ducks are to accountancy but he had a point.

So, Damien, what's this blog about?

Well - I wanted a lovely place where I could share tales and images from my life as a nasty bastard and I just know that some of you will find it educational, some will find it entertaining, some will be offended and some will have a quick fumble under their computer desk (and you know who you are and I applaud you).

For any who are offended then I must clarify that these images and stories are merely a hark back to a time when it was perfectly acceptable to tie a damsel to a buzz saw in lieu of rent and be quite happy to let a big chinned dimwit in tight trousers to come along and save the woman.  All the heroines you will meet are entirely fictitious and if they were real they would all be over the relevant ages of consent etc.

If you like the idea of comic books, B Movies, Pulp adventure and damsels in distress and women with guns then you'll probably find something here to distract you from the grim realities of the perils that real life bring. If you don't then you'll probably find something here to complain about.

Anyway - people often say to me 'Damien, what are you doing to those kittens?'  I never, ever have a good answer - it's not that I dislike kittens it's just that they fit into my meat grinder much easier than even the smallest puppy does.

They also ask me - 'You've been a diabolical mastermind for quite some time now - what is your favourite peril?'

That's never an easy one to answer as they are all so good - however, I have always been an enormous fan of the hilarious works of Edgar Allen Poe (a talking Raven?  Priceless - come on Disney, where's the movie?).  Poe also had a slightly miserable edge and among the one or two books that weren't as chipper was a little novel called 'The Pit and the Pendulum'.  (I wish someone would make a movie from that book - it would be good)

I always loved the idea of using something similar and when Jocasta Palmer, a nuisance cat burglar that I know (and I have never had any idea why she was called a cat burglar - on the numerous times that she did rob me she always left the kitten's possessions alone - it seemed to me that she was less interested in burgling cats than she was burgling masked master villains.  Anyway, I digress ... she tried to rob me and I, of course captured her and finally got a chance to use me fiendish swinging monstrosity on her.  Of course she escaped and lived to annoy me another day but it was fun while it lasted.

Anyway, I have just been informed that there have been a number of films about The Pit and The Pendulum - shows how much I get out.

It has also been suggested that I should clarify - when I wrote my fiendish swinging monstrosity I of course meant my pendulum and nothing else.  It's not that kind of a blog.

Until next time - Damien Kadaver.